Freedom from Addictions

No temptation has overtaken you but such as is common to man; and God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will provide the way of escape also, that you may be able to endure it. (1 Cor 10:13)

20 Steps to Ensure a Pure Heart and Mind
These twenty steps are not theory, but have been proven useful and successful with people who have sexual addictions. This is not to suggest that these steps will be easy. We must persevere in the faith and persevere in our attempts to overcome our addictions.

In addition to these steps individual psychological counseling and/or perhaps deliverance counseling may be needed.

So how do we do this? How do we keep our hearts and minds pure? How do we break the cycle? Our "12-Steps" are Twenty Steps that will lead us to freedom:

1. Christian Resignation as a Prerequisite to Freedom
2. Sacrament of Confession
3. The Sacrament of the Most Holy Eucharist
4. Adoration of the Blessed Sacrament
5. Daily Prayer
6. Living a Devotional Life
7. Receive the Church's official blessing for those suffering from addiction
8. Spiritual Warfare Prayers
9. Exercise Self-Discipline
1. Avoid the Near Occasion of Sin
2. Guard your Senses
3. Destroy all Pornographic Material and Other Triggers
4. Bouncing the Eyes
5. Starve the Eyes
6. Your Sword and Shield
7. Keep Passing Open Windows
8. Practice Modesty
10. Correct Thinking Errors
11. Avoid Stress and Fatigue
12. Avoid Isolation
13. Seek an Accountability Partner
14. Seek a Support Group and Other Resources
15. Volunteer and Stay Active
16. Practice Good Computer Hygiene
17. Eat Properly and Exercise
18. Seek Medical Help
19. Prayer, Prayer, and More Praye
20. Perseverance, Perseverance, and More Perseverance




1) Christian Resignation as a Prerequisite to Freedom:
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Our Heavenly Father, as a perfect father, wants his children to experience the freedom that can only come from knowing the Truth, the deliverance that frees us from bondages, and the holiness that brings us victory in Christ in our lives and to the perfection to which we are all called. The first and critical step to attain this freedom, deliverance, and holiness is to resign ourselves to the will of God. All the other steps are methods to accomplish this Resignation to the Will of God and to the pursuit of perfection.

Of all the psychological factors that play a part in our spiritual life, a prominent place must be given to the sincere desire for attaining perfection. It is said that when St. Thomas Aquinas was asked by one of his sisters what she should do to reach sanctity, he answered her in one brief sentence: “Will it.”

The desire for perfection is an act of the will, under the influence of grace, which aspires unceasingly to spiritual growth until one reaches sanctity. It is under the influence of grace because such a desire is manifestly supernatural and surpasses the exigencies and tendencies of pure nature. It must be constant in its aspiration for ever greater perfection, and it must not stop at any intermediate degree but must aspire to the heights of sanctity.

Sanctity is the supreme good we can attain in this life. By its very nature it is something infinitely desirable, but since it is also an arduous and difficult good, it is impossible to tend toward it efficaciously without the strong impulse of a will that is determined to attain it at any cost. St. Teresa of Avila considers it of decisive importance “to have a great and very determined resolve not to stop until one reaches it,” without reckoning the difficulties along the way, the criticism of those around us, the lack of health, or the disdain of the world. Therefore, only resolute and energetic souls, with the help of divine grace, will scale the heights of perfection.

We offer a meditation and prayers to help you find this resignation and abandonment to God that will lead you to freedom.


2) Sacrament of Confession:
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This Sacrament is the way to be properly disposed and to be reconciled to God and His Church. A soul in a State of Grace receives the fullness of God's grace to persevere in the faith, to practice the faith, to avoid temptation, and to live above sin and despair. One should never be embarrassed to seek Confession, even if one must go to confession every week to confess the same sin over and over.

We can make a good confession. When we enter the confessional we bring to our Lord the sins we have committed up to that moment, not the sins that we may commit in the future. Even if we are relatively sure we may sin again within hours of receiving absolution, we can still make a good confession.

A good confession requires the penitent to perform five actions:
(1) Examination of Conscience (admitting to our sins and not holding anything back) (CCC 1456)
(2) Contrition (sorrow for having offended God) also called repentance (CCC 1451-1454)
(3) Firm purpose of amendment (a resolution and intention to not sin again) (CCC 1451)
(4) Confession of our all sins since last Confession (CCC 1455-1458)
(5) Performing assigned penance (CCC 1459-1460)

The step of "firm purpose of amendment" is where many people with habitual sins get confused. We say to ourselves, "How can I genuinely offer a firm purpose of amendment when I know from experience that I will do it again, maybe even hours after confessing?"

We can offer a genuine purpose of amendment. Ask ourselves these questions?

1. at this moment (in the confessional) do I want to stop sinning?
2. at this moment (in the confessional) do I resolve to try to stop sinning, even though I may fail again?
3. at this moment (in the confessional) am I willing to do the things necessary, or at least to try to do the things necessary to avoid sinning
4. am I entering the confessional with the intention to keep sinning, lying to the priest about a being sorry for sins and/or about a firm purpose of amendment (Am I deliberately planning to sin again)?


No one but God knows the future. We actually do not absolutely know that we will sin the same sin again. We may recognize that there is a high probability for sinning that sin again, but we cannot actually know since we cannot know the future.

If we can say "yes" to the first three questions, and "no" to the last question, then we can make a good confession.

If we commit a sexual sin again, even it is just hours after confession, that is a brand new incident of sin. As a new incidence of sin, a new confession is required, thus we go back to Confession at our next opportunity.

Perfect Act of Contrition: It is important to keep our souls in a State of Grace in-between Confessions. We can do that by offering a Perfect Act of Contrition as soon as possible after we sin. When we do this our sin is actually forgiven on the spot immediately and our souls restored to a State of Grace. Doing this, however, comes with a proviso: we must receive the formal Sacrament of Confession at our next opportunity and although we are in a State of Grace we may not receive the Eucharist until we receive the Sacrament of Confession.

God is merciful. He does not want us to remain in a sinful state all week until Saturday Confession. He does not want us to risk our souls to hell because we died before Saturday Confession. Thus, He gives us this opportunity to be forgiven for grave sins right away and thus restored to Grace right away through an Act of Perfect Contrition, even when that Act is offered minutes after our sin.

What is an Act of Perfect Contrition? There are two types of Contrition:

1. Imperfect Contrition is when we are sorry for our sins because we fear going to hell. [CCC 1453]
2. Perfect Contrition is when we are sorry for our sins because we love God and are sorry that we disappointed and displeased Him who is our heavenly daddy. [CCC 1452]


To offer a Perfect Act of Contrition pray this or a similar prayer with the sorrow of displeasing God because you love Him:
My God, I am sorry for my sins with all my heart. In choosing to do wrong and failing to do good, I have sinned against You, whom I should love above all. Through the merits of Your Precious Blood, wash away from my soul all stain of sin, so that cleansed in body and soul, I may love You more. Therefore, I firmly intend and resolve, with the help of Your grace, to confess my sins, to do penance, to amend my life, and to avoid whatever leads me to sin.


3) The Sacrament of the Most Holy Eucharist:
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Our Lord has given us the Sacraments as instruments of His grace. We need to receive the Blessed Sacrament as often as we can, daily if possible, making sure we are properly disposed first.

In those times in which we are not properly disposed we need to be sure to celebrate Mass anyway, just do not receive the Blessed Sacrament. The Sunday obligation and Holy Days of Obligation still apply even if we are not able to receive the Eucharist. It is also prudent to attend Daily Mass even if one cannot receive.

The reason it is beneficial to celebrate Mass even when we are not properly disposed and cannot receive is that the Mass itself gives us a blessing, a grace, and strength. Those suffering from addiction need all the help they can get to cope with and to continue the journey to freedom.


4) Adoration of the Blessed Sacrament:
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We need to go before our Lord in the Most Holy Eucharist in Adoration at least one hour per week or more, if possible. Even if the Eucharist is not exposed in one's parish, it does not matter -- go sit in front of the Tabernacle where the Eucharist is reserved.

The Eucharist is like a radioactive substance; it radiates the grace and love of our Lord bathing all who are around with His divine presence.

When in Adoration, tell God your problems and difficulties with this addiction. Then, for at least 20 minutes sit quietly and bathe in the rays of the Son. Sometimes we pray so much that God cannot get a word in edgewise. Just sit there and bathe in our Lord's love and let God speak to you.


5) Daily Prayer:
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(a) Petition God: As St. Augustine teaches us: "no one can be continent (meaning sexual self-self-restraint, chastity) as in the ability to unless you (God) grant it. For you would surely have granted it if my inner groaning had reached your ears and I with firm faith had cast my cares on you."

St. James tells us that we have not because we ask not, and that we ask and do not have because we ask wrongly (James 4:2b-3). We need to ask for freedom and healing from our lusts and addictions and we need to pray with humility and desire to please God in our members.

(b) Pray the Little Office:
This little volume, called the Little Office of the Blessed Virgin Mary allows the laity to participate in a small way in the Official Prayer of the Church, the Divine Office. We highly recommend this daily prayer and devotion. If one wishes to participate in other versions of the Divine Office, like the Shorter Christian Prayer or the one-volumes editions of the Office, or the full Divine Office, links to those volumes are found here.

(c) The Rosary:
The Divine Office outranks the Rosary because the Rosary is a personal devotional prayer. The Rosary, however, is the most powerful of the personal devotional prayers. There is no greater intercessor than our Blessed Mother. Indeed, the Rosary is powerful. Even wars have been won due to the Rosary. Christians defeated the invading hordes of Muslims at the the Battle of Lepanto through the power of the Rosary. The Feast of Our Lady of the Rosary on October 7th commemorates this victory and the glorious power of Our Lady's intercessions.

(d) Prayer to the Saints:
Develop a devotion to saints who may assist you in this particular problem. These patron saints of sexual problems include: St. Augustine, St. Dymphna, and others. Here is a list of other saints who are patrons of sexual temptations.


6) Living a Devotional Life:
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In addition to devotion to saints who are patrons concerning problems of sexual temptations, it is also critically important to live an overall good devotional Catholic life. One needs to be a good, loyal, obedient, and devout Catholic always continuing to grow in faith and in intimacy with God.

(a) Resources to help in the devotional life: We highly recommend the following books:
Introduction to the Devout Life by St. Francis de Sales
12 Steps to Holiness and Salvation by St. Alphonsus Liguori
Back to Virtue: Traditional Moral Wisdom for Modern Moral Confusion by Peter Kreeft

The above books concern devotion as a Christian in general (which we all need to practice). A particularly effective devotion and religious exercise, however, specially written for those with problems of sexual compulsions is the book, Clean of Heart: Overcoming Habitual Sins Against Purity by Rosemarie Scott. This book is highly recommended and a critical tool in working toward freedom and healing.

(b) Spiritual Director to assist in growing the Christ-Life:
To help in growing into the Christ-Life a Spiritual Director is advised. We recommend each person buy the book by Father Thomas Dubay, Seeking Spiritual Direction: How to Grow the Divine Life Within. Father teaches us the definition of spiritual direction, what to look for in a spiritual direction, and what to do if a director cannot be found.

(c) Gaining Partial Indulgences:
It seems we often forget about the Treasury of Indulgences that God, through His Church, grants to us to help us in the Christian life. Performing the good and holy works to which Indulgences are attached can be a powerful aid in overcoming our compulsions. We should not neglect this treasure given to us by the Church. The Norms on Indulgences explains:
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An indulgence is the remission before God of the temporal punishment due for sins already forgiven as far as their guilt is concerned. This remission the faithful with the proper dispositions and under certain determined conditions acquire through the intervention of the Church which, as minister of the Redemption, authoritatively dispenses and applies the treasury of the satisfaction won by Christ and the Saints.

This means that the consequences of sins that have been forgiven in the Sacrament are remitted. This not only decreases our time in purgatory, but also gives a grace to assist us in living not only a life forgiven of our sins but a victorious Christ-Life.

There are two kinds of Indulgences: Plenary and Partial. Plenary removes all temporal punishment due to sin. Partial removes part of the punishment. In the old days this was expressed in days in purgatory. Plenary gets if out of purgatory altogether, partial took off a certain number of days from purgatory. The reason for the determination of days goes back to the early Church when people were given penance for a certain number of days. Indulgences took off days from their penance. From a realistic theology, however, there are no "days" in purgatory since time and space are constructs of the material world, not of the spiritual realm.

Unfortunately, we will not be able to gain a plenary indulgence because to qualify for that we must be free from all attachment to sin, even venial sin. But, acts to which plenary indulgences are attached, when performed by those who do not met the requirements, gives a partial indulgence.

Even though acts attached to Plenary Indulgences will not count as Plenary to us, we ought to perform the other requirements anyway. We will receive Partial Indulgence for these acts of devotion.

The three conditions required, other than the absence from all attachment to sin, are:

1. sacramental confession
2. Eucharistic Communion
3. prayer for the intention of the Sovereign Pontiff


The Norms state: "The three conditions may be fulfilled several days before or after the performance of the prescribed work; it is, however, fitting that Communion be received and the prayer for the intention of the Sovereign Pontiff be said on the same day the work is performed."

For list of works that qualify for an Indulgence, see the List of Plenary Indulgences.

For a list of all Indulgences, Plenary and those specific to Partial Indulgence, see the List of Indulgences and Pious Invocations.

Do not neglect the holy devotion of gaining Indulgences. These treasures of the Church can help you heal.

7) Receive the Church's official blessing for those suffering from addiction:
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The Church offers an official blessing for those Addicted. It is called Order for the Blessing of a Person Suffering from Addiction or some Substance Abuse.

You can ask your priest to do this for you--the blessing is found in the Book of Blessings. If that is not possible for whatever reasons, or you need the blessing more often than your priest can schedule, we can offer you this blessing ourselves. Most official blessings must be performed by a priest or deacon, but this particular blessing is one of the few that laity are allowed to do for others.

Go to {link is forthcoming} to listen to an mp3 of Brother Ignatius offering this blessing to all to listen to the mp3.


8) Spiritual Warfare Prayers:
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The marital embrace is actually a holy act. It is an image of the relationship of Christ and His Bride, the Church. This is a prime reason why sexual sins are a favorite of Satan.

Sexual sins also damage the image of God that is the family. While each of us are made in the image of God, the family is the more perfect image. God, Himself, is family -- God the Father, God the Son, and God the Holy Spirit.

Thus, Satan will encourage anything that will damage that image of God found in His creatures. He does this through pornography, masturbation, incest, molesting, fornication, adultery, concubinage (living to together as if married), contraception, all other sexual sins, as well as divorce, domestic violence, etc.

Satan loves us to commit sexual sins. Because of this Satan wages a spiritual war against us. We must fight back, we must defend ourselves. Thus, in seeking freedom from our lusts and compulsions we cannot ignore the spiritual warfare element.

St. Peter, our first Pope, teaches us, "Be sober, be watchful. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking some one to devour. Resist him, firm in your faith, knowing that the same experience of suffering is required of your brotherhood throughout the world." (1 Peter 5:8-9)

St. James gives similar advice, "Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil and he will flee from you" (James 4:7)

That resistance begins by putting on the Armor of God. Each day when we awake, we dress before leaving the house for work and errands. If we didn't we would be vulnerable and arrested. We also need to put on our spiritual clothes. St. Paul explains (Ephesians 6:10-18):
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Finally, be strong in the Lord and in the strength of his might. Put on the whole armor of God, that you may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil. For we are not contending against flesh and blood, but against the principalities, against the powers, against the world rulers of this present darkness, against the spiritual hosts of wickedness in the heavenly places. Therefore take the whole armor of God, that you may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand. Stand therefore, having girded your loins with truth, and having put on the breastplate of righteousness, and having shod your feet with the equipment of the gospel of peace; besides all these, taking the shield of faith, with which you can quench all the flaming darts of the evil one. And take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God. Pray at all times in the Spirit, with all prayer and supplication. To that end keep alert with all perseverance...


Keep sober and alert for the schemes of the devil for he is looking to trap you. Put on the Armor of God to protect you against the flaming arrows of the Enemy. Pray spiritual warfare prayers. Remember that "though we live in the world we are not carrying on a worldly war, for the weapons of our warfare are not worldly but have divine power to destroy strongholds" (2 Corinthians 10:3-4).

Here is a prayer to put on the Armor of God:
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I choose to be strong in the Lord and in the strength of His might (Eph. 6:10). I put no confidence in the flesh (Phil. 3:3) for the weapons of warfare are not of the flesh (2 Cor. 10:4). I put on the whole armor of God (Eph. 6:10-20), and I resolve to stand firm in my faith and to resist the evil one. (Ja. 4:7).

I now “put on God’s armor so as to be able to resist the devil’s tactics.” I stand my ground “with truth buckled around my waist, and integrity for a breastplate…” I carry the “shield of faith” to “put out the burning arrows of the evil one…” I accept “salvation from God to be my helmet and receive the word of God from the Spirit to use as a sword.” (Eph 6:10, 11, 14, 17) Amen.

Lord Jesus Christ, I belong only to you from now on. I want to be free from the dominion of darkness and the rule of Satan, and I want to enter the Kingdom and be part of your people. I will turn away from all sin, and I will avoid everything that leads me to sin and wrongdoing. I thank you for your forgiveness of my sins. Come into my heart as my Savior and Lord. I offer my life to you, and I promise to obey you as my Lord and Master. I ask you to fill me with your Holy Spirit. Amen.

We have prepared other spiritual warfare prayers {link forthcoming} to help you fight the battle and to "quench all the flaming darts of the evil one."


9) Exercise Self-Discipline:
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The Catechism states that we must exercise the discipline "of feelings and imagination; by refusing all complicity in impure thoughts that incline us to turn aside from the path of God's commandments." "We must take "every thought captive to obey Christ" (2 Cor 10:5). How do we do this?

(a) Avoid the Near Occasion of Sin:
Avoid anything, in as much as is possible, that may trigger lustful thoughts and temptations. Be careful of the TV shows and movies you watch, the music you listen to, the books you read, the games you play, the people you associate with.

Return to the old-fashioned dating where physical intimacy is reserved for marriage. "Making out" lends itself to lust and unchastity.

Be very circumspect around the opposite sex. There is a story told of a very old priest lying on his death bed. The housekeeping came into the priest's room and thought he was dead. To be sure, she bent over the priest and placed her cheek close to his mouth to see if he was breathing. At that moment the priest woke up and yelled, "Get thee hence woman, the fire still burns!" He died moments later.

This priest was circumspect, guarding his senses, guarding against the near occasion of sin, even though he would be dead in a few moments.

Do not risk your soul for carelessness and lack of circumspection in dealings with the opposite sex.

Avoid swimming pools and the beach and any other place were women can be found with little clothing. Avoid nightclubs and any place where women may dress provocatively.

In Mass, come early and sit in the front pew so that you do not have to see any women dressed improperly who are sitting behind you; then leave Mass after others have gone. In coming early and leaving late, spend that time in prayer.

Jesus said, "But I say to you that every one who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart. If your right eye causes you to sin, pluck it out and throw it away; it is better that you lose one of your members than that your whole body be thrown into hell. And if your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away; it is better that you lose one of your members than that your whole body go into hell." (Matthew 5:28-30)

This passage teaches us that we need to make whatever changes that are necessary to our lifestyle or daily routines to avoid these near occasions and triggers. It is better to make even radical changes in our lives than to go to hell.

(b) Guard your Senses: While looking at a woman's face and eyes may have its own temptation sometimes, it is better than looking elsewhere. Force yourself to look upon her eyes, or at least her nose or her mouth, but avoid looking down to where you may be tempted by her figure.

St. Peter of Alcantara in his book, "A Golden Treatise of Mental Prayer", said "Guard your senses, especially your eyes, ears and tongue."

Pope Paul VI in a message to Religious remarked, "It is this same faith which assures us beyond doubt that, with the help of divine grace, we can preserve unsullied, the flower of chastity. To obtain this blessed objective, it is, of course, necessary to practice Christian mortification with more courageous zeal, and also to guard the senses with more diligent care."

St. Ignatius of Loyola in his Constitutions wisely teaches:
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All should take care to guard with great diligence the gates of their senses (especially the eyes, ears, and tongue) from all disorder, to preserve themselves in peace and true humility of their souls, and to give an indication of it by silence when it should be kept and, when they must speak, by the discretion and edification of their words, the modesty of their countenance, the maturity of their walk, and all their movements, without giving any sign of impatience or pride. In everything they should try and desire to give the advantage to the others, esteeming them all in their hearts as better than themselves (Phil 2:3) and showing exteriorly, in an unassuming and simple religious manner, the respect and reverence befitting each one’s state, in such a way that by observing one another they grow in devotion and praise God our Lord, whom each one should endeavor to recognize in his neighbor as in His image. . . . It will be very specially helpful to perform with all possible devotion the tasks in which humility and charity are practiced more; and, to speak in general, the more one binds himself to God our Lord and shows himself more generous toward his Divine Majesty, the more will he find God more generous toward himself and the more disposed will he be to receive graces and spiritual gifts which are greater each day".

Guarding one's senses is critical to the success of overcoming lustful temptations.

(c) Destroy all Pornographic Material and Other Triggers: It is important to destroy, not merely throw away, all books, magazines, DVDs, or other material that present a near occasion of sin. It is not only pornographic materials that must be destroyed, but any material that is a trigger.

(d) Bouncing the Eyes: This technique takes practice but is very useful to avoid the near occasion of sin. For example, when we see a person walking down the sidewalk to whom we are attracted, bounce our eyes away from that person. Look away. Do not allow your eyes to feast upon that person. Think of that person as a child of God, someone's son or daughter, someone's spouse. Do you want people to look upon them in that way?

(e) Starving the Eyes: This technique also takes practice but is critical to avoiding the near occasion of sin. We must starve our eyes of any sexual gratification that comes from outside of marriage. Our sexual appetite, our hunger for sexual gratification, must be only toward our spouse. When we starve ourselves from all other sources of appetite, our desire for our spouse will increase with a new vigor.

(f) Your Sword and Shield: The Bible gives us our sword and shield to protect ourselves from temptations. The first sword and shield is the Armor of God realizing that our ultimate enemy is more than ourselves (our own concupiscence and our own biology), but is the devil who exploits our concupiscence and biology to encourage and tempt us to sin. Thus, we need God's Armor, Prayer daily Ephesians 6:10-18. The text of these passages is copied in Step 8 on Spiritual Warfare Prayers.

In addition to the Armor of God, we need an additional sword and shield particular to our problem of lust.

For our Sword we need just one verse we can memorize and use as a sword against temptation. It is recommended that this "attack verse" be the opening line of Job 31:

I have made a covenant with my eyes.


When tempted to look at a pretty woman on the sidewalk, repeat to oneself, "No, I have made a covenant with my eyes."

For our Shield we look at the scripture:

Flee from sexual immorality.... You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body (1 Corinthians 6:18-20)


Using the idea of this verse, when faced with temptation we memorize the following as our shield:

You have no right to look at or think about it. You haven't the authority.


Satan depends upon us believing we have the right to make any decision we wish about our behavior. Such indulgence is very common in today's world. But, as Christians we actually do not have the right. We have been purchased by the shed blood of Jesus Christ. We are no longer our own. God has given us free will to choose rightly. If we understand that we have no right to choose wrongly, the tempting power of the devil can not touch us.

[Note: Bouncing and Starving the Eyes, and the Sword and Shield, are derived from Every Man's Battle by Stephen Arterburn and Fred Stoeker. We have an online study of this book.]

(g) Keep Passing Open Windows: Most temptations come to us in little "windows of opportunity" that lasts only a few minutes. If we can distract ourselves for those few minutes we can pass by that open window safely.

For example, if one begins to be tempted by a thought, go do something like wash the dishes, watch the Evening News, mow the lawn, something, anything, that will distract from the temptation. By the time the dishes are done the temptation is likely to be gone.

An old saying is, "Idle hands are the devil's workshop." This is a true statement. Thus get busy and there will not be time to indulge in temptations. This is helpful not only in passing the open windows of temptation, but also in general. A person who is busy working at a job, school, and voluntary work has little time for indulging in temptations. Doing some sort of ministry work is particularly helpful.

(h) Practice Modesty: We must guard our senses, but we also have a responsibility to help each other with that prudence.

As Christians who are in the world but are not to be "of" the world, we are all called to humility and modesty in speech, demeanor, and dress. This is particularly true when attending Mass. One may have to in the front pew at Mass to avoid seeing all the improperly dressed women in the congregation as suggested in Step 7 above.

The definition of modesty will differ from age to age and from culture to culture. At one time it was considered immodest for a woman to reveal her leg anywhere above the ankle. We have come a long way since then.

The following definition comes from Father Hardon's "Catholic Dictionary". We include the entire definition for interest sake, since modesty applies to more than just how we dress:

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Modesty

The virtue that moderates all the internal and external movements and appearance of a person according to his or her endowments, possessions, and station in life. Four virtues are commonly included under modesty: humility, studiousness, and two kinds of external modesty, namely in dress and general behavior.

Humility is the ground of modesty in that it curbs the inordinate desire for personal excellence and inclines one to recognize his or her own worth in its true light.

Studiousness moderates the desire and pursuit of truth in accordance with faith and right reason. Its contrary vices are curiosity, which is an excessive desire for knowledge that should be be had for one's age and position in life.

Modesty in dress and in bodily adornments inclines a person to avoid not only whatever is offensive to others but whatever is not necessary.

Modesty in bodily behavior directs a person to observe proper decorum in bodily movements, according to the dictum of St. Augustine, "In all your movements let nothing be evident that would offend the eyes of another".

Modesty comes from the Latin, modestia, which means "moderation."

Bottomline: modesty is moderation in dress and appearance; vanity is lack of moderation in dress and appearance.

We need to remember the teaching of St. John Chrysostom on modesty. Remember as you read this that the teaching the Saint is giving was more than 1600 years ago (the 5th century). Nevertheless notice just how applicable it is today in the 21st Century.
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You carry your snare everywhere and spread your nets in all places. You allege that you never invited others to sin. You did not, indeed, by your words, but you have done so by your dress and your deportment and much more effectively than you could by your voice.
When you have made another sin in his heart, how can you be innocent?

Tell me, whom does this world condemn? Whom do judges in court punish? Those who drink poison or those who prepare it and administer the fatal potion? You have prepared the abominable cup, you have given the death-dealing drink, and you are more criminal than are those who poison the body; you murder not the body but the soul. And it is not to enemies you do this, nor are you urged on by any imaginary necessity, nor provoked by injury, but out of foolish vanity and pride.

Both men and women need to take these words of St. John Chrysostom to heart. Seek moderation, humility, and modesty in dress and deportment. We all have a responsibility to help each other to "guard our senses."


10) Correct Thinking Errors:
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St. Paul teaches us that we must "...destroy arguments and every proud obstacle to the knowledge of God, and take every thought captive to obey Christ, being ready to punish every disobedience, when your obedience is complete" (2 Corinthians 10:5-6)

St. Paul is telling us that we must punish, that is mortify, any disobedience that we find in ourselves. We must "take captive every thought to obey Christ." Due to the concupiscence of human nature, we naturally tend to have improper thoughts. The problem is not impure or improper thoughts popping into our head. The problem is letting those thoughts stay there, ruminating on them, indulging them and allowing them to take root and to grow.

We must "capture" these thoughts. When they pop into our head, pop them back out. One of the main ways to do that is to practice the "passing open windows" technique. Distract your mind with thoughts of something else. Pray the rosary, or say a few Hail Marys, or think about an upcoming test in school, or a task at work. Temptations usually last only a very minutes. If we distract ourselves with some other task for those few minutes the temptation will fade before we are finished.

Another example to illustrate capturing thoughts is that if we must do something that we are afraid to do or are not sure we can do, we may repeat over and over to ourselves, "I can do this. I can do this." This repetitious "self-talk" helps us to dispel the fear and the thoughts that we can't do it. In our context, we can repeat to ourselves perhaps, "I will not look at her. I will not look at her." This technique helps some and not others, but the "passing open windows" technique is more fundamental and more consistently successful if practiced diligently.

Never let emotional love run wild: The old saying is that "love is blind." Indeed it can be. Emotional love can lead to all sorts of unreasonable thoughts and actions. It can lead to bad decisions in a choice of who we date or marry. It easily leads to thinking errors, such as "He will change once we are married" or "It is okay to have sex because we love each other (or are engaged). Work hard to bring the emotions under reason. The Church officially teaches that emotion is a great gift from God, but that emotion was always be guarded by reason.

Bring the imagination under control: Learn how to clean up your imagination and to substitute good fantasies for bad. When the imagination begins to flare with something evil, pray to God to take away that imagination and then, through as act of will, deliberately imagine something else that is good. This can be done with practice.

Do not Obsess Over Past Sins: When we confess our sins, God is faithful to remove those sins, or remember them no more, and to restore us to righteousness. It is pride for us to hold on to past sins that God as forgiven and let go. Accept the promise of God found in 1 John 1:9 as God does not lie:

If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just, and will forgive our sins and cleanse us from all unrighteousness.


11) Avoid Stress and Fatigue:
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Fatigue is fatal on more than the highway. Fatigue is a killer also for those who have sexual addictions. Stress is the usual cause of the fatigue.

When we are fatigued our ability to think properly, to make good decisions, and to resist temptations are impaired. A lot of the sexually acting out by those with sexual addictions happens when they are fatigued. The danger here cannot be underestimated. We need to see to it, for our physical, mental, and spiritual health, that we take steps to reduce fatigue in our lives. This means getting proper rest and sleep. Avoid the trap of overwork. Even God rested on the seventy day. He set the example for us all. Get rest, find hobbies that have nothing to do with your normal daily routines, find time for recreations, but also make time to rest and calm the tensions you feel. This can be done by Christian contemplative prayer, meditative prayer, and just calmly sitting listening to the still small voice of God.

To reduce fatigue we may have to change our lifestyles, change jobs, rearrange the daily routing, solicit the help of our spouse to ensure that one is not disturbed during our rest period.

Stress is killer. Some researcher estimate that as much as 90% of the disease and illness in our culture is directly linked to stress. Almost all people with sexual compulsions report that they are very vulnerable to acting our sexually when they are stressed. Priests report that masturbation is one of the most often confessed sins and that stress is a primary trigger for the sin.

As with fatigue, we must find ways to reduce stress even if that means radical lifestyle changes. Exercise is a great way to reduce stress, plus relaxation and all the strategies to reduce fatigue. Reducing stress will improve health, improve sleep, reduce fatigue, improve one's ability to resist temptation, and generally make a person healthy and spiritually invigorated.

These things may be difficult to do, especially if they involve major lifestyle changes, but we need to remember the warning of Jesus:
Quote:
(Matthew 18:7-9) "Woe to the world for temptations to sin! For it is necessary that temptations come, but woe to the man by whom the temptation comes! And if your hand or your foot causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away; it is better for you to enter life maimed or lame than with two hands or two feet to be thrown into the eternal fire. And if your eye causes you to sin, pluck it out and throw it away; it is better for you to enter life with one eye than with two eyes to be thrown into the hell of fire."

It is better to make the lifestyle change, no matter how difficult, than to risk our souls to hell.


12) Avoid Isolation:
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When Jesus sent out his disciples he sent them two-by-two: (Mark 6:7) "And he called to him the twelve, and began to send them out two by two, and gave them authority over the unclean spirits."

Jesus was very wise, of course. He knew the sorts of dangers the disciples would face physically and spiritually. To be in twos the disciples have each other's back as-it-were. To be in twos helps each of the team to avoid sin for each can encourage each other and be accountable to each other, and if necessary, to admonish each other. Sin flourishes in isolation.

See see this theme of the importance of twos in other Scriptures. Jesus says, (Matthew 18:19) "Again I say to you, if two of you agree on earth about anything they ask, it will be done for them by my Father in heaven."

And again, (Matthew 18:20) "For where two or three are gathered in my name, there am I in the midst of them."

We also see the theme against isolation in the book of Hebrews 10:24-25: "and let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near."

The Scriptures are plain. We must not neglect the fellowship of others. The human person needs the encouragement of others to be both psychologically and spiritually healthy. Unless one is truly called to hermitage, all people should avoid isolation for their own health and sanity.

When we isolate ourselves from others the lustful thoughts can grow in our minds to the point that we sin. Alone, our thoughts are on their own. There are no distractions, no accountability. The battle is for the mind and thus the mind needs to be not only active on the things of God, but engaged by the encouragement of others. This is one reasons why support groups can be beneficial. But, attending a support group once a week and isolating oneself the rest of the week is not a good choice. We need to be engage with our brethren. If possible, we ought to get involved in Church activities, develop friendships, go out to appropriate entertainments with friends, etc.


13) Seek an Accountability Partner:
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One's confessor is a primary accountability partner, but it is also important to have a friend who knows about our problems, who can encourage us, and to whom we can be accountable to tell when you fall.

Covenant Eyes is one of the best ways to be accountable on the computer.

When we are accountable to another person, we are more likely to find the courage and strength to avoid sin as we know we will have to tell our accountability partner about it. While we do this with a priest in the Sacrament of Confession, there seems to be a particular effectiveness in having such an accountability partner outside of the confessional.


14) Seek a Support Group and Other Resources:
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As another kind of accountability partner and more, it can be very useful to join a support group of other people who have sexual addictions. Groups like ours has proven an invaluable assistance to many people. The various groups modeled from the 12-Step programs are very limited because they tend to focus on the wrong things and are not Catholic. Sexoholics Anonymous has the right idea, saying the cause is lust, but it too is still a secular group that does not hold the full perspective that we should hold as Catholics pursuing freedom that can only come the Truth of God.

See our Resources Section for a listing of many valuable resources.


15) Volunteer and Stay Active:
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In a lecture many years ago Ralph Nader said that if people "wish to take their minds off their problems, get involved, volunteer for something." He is correct. When we invest our time and energy in helping others we have little time to focus on our own problems.

Volunteering is a great way to avoid isolation. Besides, as Christians are are obligated to practice charity, that is, to help others. The Church teaches that we are to practice the Corporeal Works of Mercy:

1. To feed the hungry
2. To give drink to the thirsty.
3. To clothe the naked.
4. To visit and ransom the captive, (prisoners).
5. To shelter the homeless.
6. To visit the sick.
7. To bury the dead.

We can participate through donations, of course, but for us especially, we need to give of our time to these works of mercy. There are many opportunities to practice one or more of these good works. For example, we can volunteer to help in a soup kitchen or a food bank, we can volunteer for a homeless shelter, get involved in a prison ministry, volunteer in a hospital, get involved as an Extraordinary Minister of Holy Communion to bring the Eucharist to the sick, help people in their time of need when a loved one dies. There are all sorts of possibilities. Find one or two.

Never underestimate the ability of helping others to reduce your addictive tendencies. In addition, helping others like this not only gives one an emotional boost, but it will animate you with the Holy Spirit. That alone will be a great aid in avoiding sin.

Get involved in some work of mercy, or for that matter, get involved and be active in any cause, such as ProLife, Tea Party, or any social or political cause that is consistent with Catholic Teaching.


16) Practice Good Computer Hygiene:
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The Computer is a major source of temptation for many people with sexual compulsions. Computer Hygiene is required to help avoid these temptations. Some of the hygienic methods for computers include:

(a) never have the computer in a bedroom or other isolated place where the user cannot be observed. The computer should be in the family room or livingroom so that one cannot use it without the possibility of being observed. If one lives alone the computer could be placed in front of a window where the shades or curtains have been removed so that those passing by might see in. Place the desk right against the window in a fashion that will make it difficult to temporarily place a curtain over the window. Keep in mind that once neighbors notice that the computer is next to this window without curtains, they will essentially know what you are up to if they suddenly see the window covered temporarily.

(b) When placing the computer in a room, have the screen facing the middle of the room or otherwise situated so those passing by can see what is on the screen.

(c) Use filtering software on the computer with someone else knowing the password. Better yet use an accountability program, or a combination of both.

We highly recommend Covenant Eyes instead of some blocking program. Blocking programs can be easily defeated. It is not possible to defeat Covenant Eyes accountability program. It is a program that does not block anything, but it reports where you go on the Internet to an accountability partner. If you turn the Covenant Eyes program off, or you deinstall it, your accountability partner is notified and can thus confront you with it. Covenant Eyes now offers blocking/filtering services, which are better than most.


17) Eat Properly and Exercise:
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Eating a healthy diet has its advantages for good overall physical health. For our purposes the concern is emotional and spiritual heath. When we are careless about what we eat, when we eat, and even how we eat (gulping it down, or savoring the food), our mind and spirit is affected. Brain chemistry can be altered by our eating habits. Thus, it is very possible that our difficulty in resisting temptation can be tied, in part, to what, when, and how we eat.

Do not underestimate this. This is not only about a sugar or caffeine rush that might make one hyperactive and perhaps vulnerable to temptation. Our overall eating habits, our food choices, and how we eat all can effect body chemistry. Some food choices can even facilitate depression. Thus, pay attention to your diet.

Exercise cannot be ignored. It is not enough to have a good diet. We must also exercise as such regular physical activity also effect brain chemistry that can help to reduce depression and to reduce obsessive-compulsive tendencies. Exercise helps to balance the Serotonin in the brain that is thought to be associated with depression and obsessive-compulsive tendencies. While some people's conditions may be such that require medication, exercise is a natural way to bring Serotonin into balance. When our brain chemistry is in balance we are less likely to fall into temptations.


18) Seek Medical Help:
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If one is really serious about overcoming sexual addictions then they will discuss with their doctor or psychiatrist the possibility of "Zoloft-class" or similar drugs. This drug has a side-effect of lowering libido and it helps to balance serotonin levels in the brain which are thought to contribute to compulsive-obsessive behavior that is a major part of sexual addictions.

One of the men in our Support Group was on this medication. It did wonders for him. The drug helped to take the edge off the addiction to a point that he could bring it under control, but it did not effect his sex life with his wife.

In a tongue-in-check manner the effects of this drug, as when watching TV, and some woman comes on the screen who is of the exact type that is attractive, a lustful thought may begin to cross the mind, but with Zoloft that thought falls into a pothole about mid way.

It can be critically important to explore the possibility of this sort of medication. It can make the difference of bringing the addiction under control or being out of control.


19) Prayer, Prayer, and More Prayer:
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Never stop praying. It is through prayer that we can find strength to deal with our problems. Prayer is the prescription for healing.

We especially recommend the 23rd Psalm as a Prayer for Healing. We prescribe this Psalm like a medication:
Quote:
The LORD is my shepherd, I shall not want;
he makes me lie down in green pastures. He leads me beside still waters;
he restores my soul. He leads me in paths of righteousness for his name's sake.
Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I fear no evil; for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff, they comfort me.
Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of my enemies; thou anointest my head with oil, my cup overflows.
Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life; and I shall dwell in the house of the LORD for ever.

What a wonderful prayer. God tells us that even in the presence of our enemies He is with us that thus we can relax in Him. This is imaged in the preparing a table and cup overflowing. Normally, when one is in battle before the enemy, the soldier does not sit down at table and drink to overflowing. But, with God, He takes the burden from us.


20) Perseverance, Perseverance, and More Perseverance:
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The whole of the Christian life is about perseverance, enduring the hardships and stumblingblocks and failures to finish the race, which is freedom. Perseverance is especially the needed for those with compulsions. Normally compulsive problems are not resolved quickly. We need to "hang in there", to endure, to persevere on the long haul, what can be the long and arduous journey to freedom.

St. Paul reminds us that we need to, "Pray at all times in the Spirit, with all prayer and supplication. To that end keep alert with all perseverance..." (Ephesians 6:18)

The writer of the Book of Hebrews teaches us that Jesus and the Saints are here to help us in this perseverance:
Quote:
Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with perseverance the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus the pioneer and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God. (Hebrews 12:1-2)


Our desire and goal is to say with St. Paul:
Quote:
I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith. Henceforth there is laid up for me the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous judge, will award to me on that Day, and not only to me but also to all who have loved his appearing (2 Timothy 4:7-8).



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Praxis Retreats

Coming soon.

Deliverance from Evil prayer

The video may possibly play better off site, depending or web traffic and/or other variables.

about

Praxis prayer community founder, Raymond Del Rio, has been in varied lay ministry including healing prayer for over 25 years. He sees a continued need for a an outreach community with a strong inner core which offers the surrounding community and beyond both inner healing, a "hand-on" approach kind of teaching on issues related to identification with both the cross and resurrection of Jesus Christ, and at times, "deliverance" from spiritual oppression.

River Del Rio has ministered, led groups, and/or served in various capacities in the Baptist, Episcopalian, Foursquare, Assembly of God and other Christian faith traditions. He currently attends Nativity Catholic Church in Brandon, Florida and also attends events at and advocates the global Underground "micro-church" movement in Tampa Bay and beyond.

Rescue the Perishing

An approved ministry?

Considering seeking audience with the Bishop of the St. Petersburg Diocese (Tampa Bay, FL) to affirm this new lay apostolate, then to connect with my local parish' charismatic prayer group and present this apostolate lay ministry.



Decree on the Apostolate of the Laity
AND MORE...

Recommended

Deliverance Prayer by Matthew and Dennis Linn
This book contains an additional bibliography. Deliverance Prayer, from a catholic point of view and on a firm theological footing is a recommended treatise on deliverance and inner healing prayer for those seeking a road of integrity and maximum service.

Breaking Free From The Spirit of Death by Jonathan Hunter

Strength in Weakness by Andrew Comiskey